Check this post for horrible jokes. Some of these are (potentially!) NSFW…
Here there be dragons jokes.
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
Answer: The retail store
How does a train eat?
Answer: It goes chew chew
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil. It was a no.2 pencil…
What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
Answer: 1Forrest1
“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Britney Spears.” “Britney Spears who?” “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “Oops, I did it again.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Answer: Ground beef
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
“Bison.”
Random joke about Hell below (NSFW):
This answer to a college chemistry exam was sent to me recently and restores my faith in the new generation of college students. The answer was purportedly in response to the bonus question on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?”
Here is the student’s answer:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. …leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
The student reportedly received a well-deserved A+
Well, I hope this kept you from being bored for a short while. I also posted a list of free games. It’s short right now, but some of the games are quite long and should keep you busy for a few hours or maybe even a few days…
How to Kill Boredom 