Joke 1 (From Reddit)

A priest, a rabbit, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit, “What can I get for you?”

The rabbit shrugs and says, “I don’t know. I’m only here because of autocorrect.”

Joke 2 (Also from Reddit)

Two scientists, Jim and Dave, walk into a bar. Jim asks the bartender for a H20.

Dave is confused until Jim says “We’re scientists, might as well act like it.”

Dave replies, “Whatever. I’ll get a water too.”

Jim watches the bartender get Dave his drink, angry that his assassination attempt didn’t work.

Joke 3 (From Reddit as well…)

Once there was a polar bear named Jerry. Jerry hated living at the north pole and constantly complained about it to the other polar bears.

“It’s way too cold here!” He would say. “The water is all frozen, there’s nothing to eat but penguins, and I’m constantly covered in snow!”

The other polar bears rolled their eyes and told Jerry to leave if he thought there was somewhere better.

“Well then,” Jerry said, “I’m going south. See you guys later!” And so, Jerry left to find a better home.

After weeks of travel, Jerry finally came to a place where there was no snow. Astonished, he came to a clearing where he found a river that was not frozen and it was filled with fish.

“This is it!” Jerry said aloud. “This is paradise!”

“Isn’t it great?” Said another voice. Jerry turned around in surprise and standing there was a brown bear.

“We have a wonderful home here. You’re more than welcome to stay.” The brown bear said.

“No thanks… I’m good…” Jerry mumbled, and he ran all the way back to the North Pole.

When he got back to the North Pole, the other polar bears crowded around him and asked him what he saw.

“Did you find someplace better?” They all asked him.

“Well,” Jerry said,” I found a place where there wasn’t any snow and there were rivers filled with fish!”

“Oh my gosh!” The other polar bears exclaimed. “Why did you come back then?!”

“Well…” Jerry stuttered again. “It all seemed pretty great… But then this polar bear came out of the woods covered in shit.”

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I hope you guys enjoyed these jokes. Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve been super busy.